Wednesday, September 21, 2005

This dude in Germany had a zoo of exotic insects in his house. Just tanks everywhere, filled with bug after creepy bug. There were even tanks in the bathroom. This guy loved his bugs.

One day, while cleaning the cages, he got bit by his favorite black widow spider. He cursed the spider, "Arschgesicht![1]" And smashed the black and red globe of its torso with his boot. Then instantly dropped to his knees and sobbed, because he'd just killed his dearest friend.

He felt so bad about killing that spider, he laid down in bed and let himself die. And I guess nobody noticed for a while. His body was found eaten by his beloved collection of bugs. Parts of him were munched away. Gangrenous flaps of flesh hung like drapes over deep, gooey trenches dug in his torso, filled with quivering maggots and other insect larva. Bug bites put a rug of red bumps on his skin. Beetles nested comfortably in both his intestines.

Ha ha! Lunatic. That's what you get for keeping poisonous bugs in your house!
posted at 10:42 PM |