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Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Please...somebody! Give me some homework! I miss school. =*( | Monday, August 28, 2006 It's cold and fucking rainy outside.. I Love it! | Friday, August 25, 2006 Side Show  I was kidnapped by the side show, last Friday. Carried on stage and made to stand on the chest of a man who was lying on broken glass. I'm the one in the red dress. |
More Dolphins! Because that's what makes this blog so great. Viki took these lovely pictures:   Little Allison dolphin w/mommy dolphin in foreground. And my hand.  Me, dolphins, children. I'm the vaguely taller one in front. Also, I found out who Allison the dolphin was actually named for. Remember last year in September, when that Metra train derailed? There was a dolphin researcher on board named Allison Walsh. She was killed in the derailment. They called the baby dolphin Allison, in her honor. | Wednesday, August 23, 2006 Look Who I Met!  Allison the dolphin! The sweetest, friendliest, most magical dolphin ever!!! Horray!!!!! She swam right up to the glass to see me, after the dolphin show and posed for this picture. Awww.. just look at that smile! More to come, once Viki sends me the other pictures. I want to come back as a performing dolphin, in my next life. | Tuesday, August 22, 2006 the scum the river reeked of cheap cologne the fish grew mostaches tightened their pasley ties soon the water was nothing but hairgel |
I can't tell you the details yet, but life will never quite be the same after this day. | Monday, August 21, 2006 hahaha! Thank you for visiting http://www.kraftfoods.com/. I'm sorry for your experience with VELVEETA Broccoli Rotini & Cheese Dinner. The problem you described sounds like there was a possible mechanical failure at our facility. I am sending you reimbursement via first class mail, which you should receive within 7-10 business days. We value the quality of the products that leave our facility. We give careful attention to each step of our manufacturing process. Samples from each production run are evaluated before we ship them, in an effort to prevent any unsatisfactory products from entering distribution. Mistakes can sometimes occur on our production lines. We try to prevent this by stationing inspectors at various points along the production lines, and their duties include watching for malfunctions. Also, our quality control staff makes regular rounds throughout the production area during the day in order to ensure that production equipment is functioning properly. I hope this information is helpful, and again, I apologize for this experience. Kim McMiller I can take the refund and use it to buy some real broccoli. A small compensation for one girl.. But what about my fellow rotini-eaters, nationwide? | Friday, August 18, 2006 When Writers Get Bored Dear hard working and most likely underpaid Kraft customer service rep, Today, I purchased and prepared a disgusting product called Kraft Velveeta Rotini and Cheese with Broccoli. I'm not a crabby person who gets a kick out of writing mean letters to companies. But I'm incredibly offended that Kraft is trying to pass this stuff off as food for human consumption. First off, that packet of "broccoli" is pathetic. Nothing but dried green crumbs that pretty much all disappear when you drain the noodles. Absolutely no nutritional value. And has the recipe for Velveeta cheese changed over the years, to include dirty socks? Because the stuff I ate today smelled and tasted like them. (Not that I eat dirty socks, I'm just estimating.) I remember it being delicious, when I was a kid. I'd beg my parents to buy me shells and cheese. I know this letter is nothing but the whinings of an insignificant consumer-ant and will be promptly ignored with a friendly form letter, but if there's any way you can pass this on to whoever's in charge of the product recipes, that would be cool. There are probably thousands of others who have felt the same way after eating this foul cheese noodle substance. Thanks, Allison S Chicago, IL Now, if you'll excuse me, I've made dinner plans. |
1988  I was born 20 years too late. It's a picture of a picture, so it's kind of blurry. | Wednesday, August 16, 2006 I'm too much of a basketcase to write on any length about this sort of thing.. So I'll leave it to these guys Just watch it. | Tuesday, August 15, 2006 Allison the Dolphin! That's right.. A DOLPHIN NAMED ALLISON, BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!! This is the most amazing thing I've heard in years. There is a dolphin at Brookfield zoo that was born on November 3rd of last year, named Allison.  shiny shiny shiny!!!!!!!!!! Here she is playing ball with her mom Here is info all about her and more pictures Here's where it says her name is Allison (near bottom of page) Here's a movie of her birth Oh my god.. I must go visit this dolphin. | Monday, August 14, 2006 Frozen Here at Age 16.. Kids I knew in high school. Found it through googling. An old friend made it. I am second on the page. I'm holding a feather duster in that picture. | Sunday, August 13, 2006 Hail Seitan!  Mmm! | Friday, August 11, 2006 Apparently, I'm still a poet I've got this poetry gig in Pilsen, tomorrow.. Will be in costume, with my kazoo. Harrison Park Damen and 18th Tennis Courts Saturday 8/12 at 4pm I think I'm opening for a Mexican metal band. This should be interesting.. stop on by. |
Dreamed I was an ice-skater.. Dressed as Marilyn Monroe, in a blonde wig and poofy white dress. I turned figure 8's and triple-axels on the giant ice rink in my mother's bedroom. The crowd screamed and threw roses. Marilyn was famous and all alone. I am the infamous casual friend. | Tuesday, August 08, 2006 Cockroaches and Hopscotch Last night, we played hopscotch. Drew boxes 1 to Sky Blue on the kitchen floor, in blue crayon. Woke up the downstairs neighbors with our hopping. The crayon wiped off, for the most part. - - - Tonight, I killed a cockroach in the kitchen, squashed it with a bottle of dish soap and told myself the following lie to keep from feeling bad about it: A cockroach is the physical manifestation of a ghost.* The ghost is bound to it, like a genie to a bottle. When you kill the cockroach body, the ghost goes free. So, I'm doing them a favor. Die, you antenna-twitching bastards! *Our apartment is mildly haunted. | Sunday, August 06, 2006 Dreams of a Butter-Eating Contest I was invited to participate. I politely declined. The contestants puked. | Saturday, August 05, 2006 Dreams of a pinball machine.. They gave it to us. It was ours. But we couldn't drag it up 3 flights of stairs. | Friday, August 04, 2006 What I Read on Wednesday No, it's not a true story. Just heavily researched. =)
Panties and the Cop There was a time they called me Panties. I don't remember why, it's just one of those nicknames you get when you're 19. Like any non-preppy suburban chick, I wore Converse All-Stars, a studded Rainbow Brite hoodie, streaked my long brown braids with green. It looked like somebody blew their nose on my head. I'd go to crappy parties in Dick Johnson yes-that's-his-real-name's garage. He had a party almost every weekend. The place was set for it: ripped up, greasy couches, blacklights on the ceiling. I'd make out with a boy or two, the sweet and easy kind, who still wore flannel after 1996- then after a few more Jello shots, yeah the green ones made with everclear- I'd start to wander. It was like I was lured away from the party by this invisible cosmic music, better than the rave wannabe boom-boom crap the DJ was spinning. I'd stumble off and walk the maze of streets with names like Chettleham and Exchester- like the architects were trying to speak British, or something- past house, tree, house, tree, SUV. The claustrophobic comfort that is the suburban sub-division. I totally knew I'd be first to leave, the first of my crew to move out of their parents' house, out of this wasteland of strip malls and pedicured lawns. After I got my Associates' from CRC, I would do something awesome. Like teach poor children in So anyway, I'd wander away from the party and Chrissy or one of my other friends would eventually find me cross-legged, drunk and drowsy on the corner of "Hey little girl, want some candy?" she'd sing and I'd envy her bleach white Mohawk and get in the car. But this one night, think it was Labor Day weekend, the party in Dick's garage got kind of rowdy. The kegs ran out, the turntables broke, then Asshole Ben showed up with his posse of thugs in their ICP shirts and tried to start shit. Everybody was shitfaced and screaming. It was bound to get busted soon. Cue my wandering. I stuck a Mike's Hard Lemonade in my hoodie pocket, slipped past a puking chick and out the garage door. I made my usual journey, down Exchester. Picked a lily from somebody's garden and sniffed it. Ripped the label off the Mike's, so I could lie and say it was regular lemonade, if stopped by the Shady Peak PD. Wound up at But after like, an hour Chrissy still hadn't plucked me off my corner. That night, she found out her boyfriend got some other chick pregnant and kinda forgot to come get me. I was about to start back, when this white Crown I could see the cop inside. Black bomber jacket, slicked back hair, sunglasses at 2am. What an asshole. The window rolled down. "What you doin' there on the corner, little lady?" the cop said. But wait. He was wearing blue jeans, tight ones... I said, "Dude, you're not a cop. Do you think I'm dumb?" He removed his sunglasses slowly, "No, you're Panties. You were at Dick Johnson's party. Hop in and I’ll take you back." But we never went back. No, we drove. Drove west, to Bumblefuck. Parked the Crown Vic on the side of the road by a cornfield. And I dunno how it happened, but there I was, sucking his tongue, which tasted like Kamel Reds and Old Style. His tight jeans were undone only at the fly. I was bouncing up and down on his lap. His fat and perfect cock was poking parts of my insides I didn't know existed. And he was like, "Fuck me, slut. Fuck me harder you bitch." Oh my god, no one had ever talked to me that way. And to my drunken ears, it was damn funny. So I was like, "Fuck me! You fucking cop, you fucking pig!" This rockabilly music, kind of like country punk, vibrated from the speakers and we just fucked and swore until the Crown Vic's interior began to flash red and blue. "Shit! The real cops!" I leapt from his lap and yanked my pants up over my hips. He zipped his fly of his tight blue jeans. | Tuesday, August 01, 2006 Here's What You're Doing Wednesday Night Drinking, stories.. The only reading series under investigation by the Chicago Liquor Comission. Come and watch me! RUI 8/2 7-10pm Sheffield and School --- Here's more info: Round 14: August 2, 2006 The theme: Road Trips Come out to Sheffield's (3258 N. Sheffield) on Wednesday, August 2, 2006 from 7:00p.m. - 10:00p.m. to hear some published work from authors who have taken to the road! Then join in on a little trivia, win some books and hear some original work by RUI regulars Rob Duffer and Carly Huegelmann. $ 3 cover This month's guest is writer - producer Jotham Burrello.http://erpmedia.net Also,hear original work from writers, Allison S-, Drew Bazini and Darwyn Jones. AND last but not least, the blonde duet Julia Borcherts and Mandy Snyder will host! |
Today was so hot I had ice cubes for dinner |
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