She's not my girlfriend. She's just having my abortion because the dog is hungry.The dog's name is Rollo. He dwells in the plague-ridden, school turned car repair shop/outpost of drunken explosions, mentioned in my first two audioblogs. Rollo will eat ANYTHING! Such as: - Cat shit (his favorite). - The decaying head of a cat, found in a field by another dog. The cat had been missing since December. - 3-year-old tortillas soaking in a baggie full of soupy, green and black mold. - The latest plague out there is flies. There's this fly-attracting goo. It smells like the smelliest shit you've ever smelled, times ten. You poar it into a gallon jug, leave the cap open. The flies buzz in and and drown in the goo, then float there with their eyes all buggy and red. Rollo got a hold of one of these jugs and of course, had himself a feast. His face and matted fur were dripping with goo and caked with dead flies. He smelled like shit for months. - One of the sick kittens I was trying so hard to save last weekend has died. I halfway suspect it's little, pus-oozing body has become a meal for Rollo. - And of course, my abortions. Ha ha just kidding. Girls like me don't get pregnant. We start each day with a breakfast of Ortho Tri-Cyclen (free from the Cook County Dept. of Public Health)! Which leads me to the dumbfuck quote of the day: "Birth control is for sluts and girls with irregular menstrual cycles."That's from the blog of a certain enemy of mine. Q. Why won't stupid people stop breeding? A. Attitudes like that. I'm sure you'll make a great mom, moron. I like my boyfriends too much to ruin their lives with unwanted offspring. And I don't want to spend my glorious early 20's changing crap-filled diapers. Well, I spose I could feed them to Rollo.. haha
|
|
