Saturday, May 14, 2005

When grocery shopping in 847, I put on my "normal" suit: jeans, long sleeve shirt (to cover the arm tatoos), blonde hair combed down. This way, if one of my many local enemies spots me from afar, they will not recognize this conservative-looking girl as "crazy Allison" and then not proceed to gutter-stomp me in the produce section. Also, people actually say "excuse me" when I look normal. When I'm in my freaky clothes, I am apparently subhuman. The frumpy suburbanites run me down with their carts and I get bruised. What's funny is sometimes the same ones who glare at me disapprovingly when I'm in my typical art-slut outfit, will go so far as to make small talk with me when I'm in my normal clothes. The bald, middle-aged guy will say, "Gee, these peas look freezer burned." And I'll smile and be like, "Yeah. They should put some fresh ones out." And he'll think I'm just a sweet, young wife. Ahaha!
posted at 3:12 PM |