Today, I stole the neighbor's cat. It was in our backyard when I came home from school. I opened the screen door and called to it kindly, wiggling my fingers in front of me. Finally, it scampered into the kitchen. I bent down and stroked it's head. It trembled beneath my hand. What a strange little cat. White fur, bright green crossed eyes. Bud, my black cat got jealous. He started circling around me and mewing. I told him, "Hey, man. There's enough of me for both of you." And realized I've said that sentence before, in a much different context... It will be 6 weeks tomorrow since I've had sex. This is my celibacy record for the last 5 years. The longest I'd gone without fucking prior to this 6 week stretch was a month. I don't feel comfortable sharing the specifics of my decision, yet.. but losing 3 boyfriends and a girlfriend in 3 months, none peaceful partings, has a way of making the human mind associate sex with eventual tragedy. Some aspects of my celibacy are relieving. I get more sleep, I smell better, I'm not dreaming of "last night" throughout my daily routine. I'm more focused, more productive, have found myself talking to all sorts of interesting people I never noticed before, because I didn't want to fuck them. However, this cat thing scares me. I have a feeling if I don't get laid soon, I'll become a cat lady. Then what's next, collecting ceramic Santa Claus figurines? My goal was to hold off until the end of the school year. Let's see how I do.
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