Sunday, April 10, 2005

S: Is it supposed to rain tomorrow?
A: I don't know. I haven't died, yet.

***

I have finally realized the reason beer exists: dancing!

If you knock back a couple of cocktails then try to dance, you will most likely get too fucked up, too fast and end up greeting Mr. Floor in a painfully intimate way. (See huge bruise on my left thigh for example.) Also, being drunk on a dance floor makes you more apt to choose..well, less than suitable dance partners. Like the sleezebag who goes to industrial clubs in a button-up shirt with his hair in stupid yuppie-spikes, hoping to score with a "hot goth chick". Or the obviously straight girl who, in your drunken dreams, you are certain you can lure away from her boyfriend and into the women's bathroom.

However, if you drink beer, then dance you are not only tipsy, but refreshed and still coordinated enough to stay on your feet and dance away from icky Mr. Yuppie spikes and Ms. I love the cock so I will scream when this strange girl grinds her ass on me.

The only problem is DAMN does beer give me a headache when I start to sober up.

I want to get stronger so I can dance for 5 hours straight without odd cramps and pains. I dance like a rabid snake in heat, fast and wiggly, using muscles that uh.. I don't use as much as I once did. This can be quite painful. Maybe I should learn to dance slower. Or exercise those muscles more. Hm..
posted at 4:02 PM |