Usually, my philosophy is, eat meat if you want, just don't make me do it. However, today, I snap. #1 way to piss Allison off: Lecture her on why she should eat meat while she's hungrily scarfing her veggie burger. Don't even try this. You have no argument: 1. It takes 10 or so pounds of grain to raise 1 pound of beef, starving kids in Africa and all that. No, not on my conscience. And not from my wallet. Shit, meat is expensive! 2. I have a 40% less chance of cancer. And also other health benefits that I am currently too angry to remember. But will recall them with a grin when I am not dead of a heart attack at 50. 3. Farming is not natural. If you go out and kill a deer, by all means eat it. Perhaps I would eat it, too because it isn't hormone-pumped and salt-packed. "Well, animals eat meat." Yeah, and animals shit on the ground and sleep outside. Why don't you do those things, too? We have the technology, now so that we do not need to eat once-living flesh for our vitamins and protein. Even Einstein said that vegetarianism is the next step in human evolution. 4. Don't knock soy until you've tried a tofu dish prepared well. Soy is the perfect food, it is rediculously healthy and can taste like anything you want it to. Yes, even meat. 5. Vegetarians taste better. Trust me, I know these things from experience. And if you want some proof, lick it bitch! *Points down* 6. "But you're limiting the places you can eat." Shit! You mean I can't choke down crap from McDonalds? Oh man! I'm deprived! Don't forget there are only, what 5 or so kinds of meat (unless you're talking wild game, which is different..see #3) as opposed to the dozens and dozens of fruits and vegetables. 7. I think cows and chickens are cool. Got a problem with that? 8. Oh, I could go on and on..the point is, veggies are the future, assholes. So shut the hell up.
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