Friday, February 18, 2005

IT ALL SUCKS! BWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

I hate writing rants. They're like verbal diarreah.
But, lemme explain a few things:

Commuting
It takes me an hour and a half to get to school. I have to drive in start-and-stop rush hour traffic, and mind you I'm not only scatterbrained, but practically blind and in dire need of glasses, so this drive most typically involves a series of near-death experiences. You can tell my little blue car is coming down the road by the fanfare of horn honks that announce my swerving lane to lane.
And then the train. The Metra train. Those fuckers are always on time. I detest punctuality!!!! Because I am ritualistically 5 minutes late at all times. Those fucking Metra trains just don't wait if you're running and spilling your coffee and burning your hands and trying to get to those sliding, metal doors before the demonic electronic voice says, "Caution. ROAR I'LL EAT YOUR SOUL!The doors are about to close."

Coffee
And who the fuck decided that it was a good idea to drink something boiling hot in the morning, anyway? You're rushing around, half-asleep and half-dumb with a hazardous liquid in your shaky hands! Now, we all know that I love coffee. It is yummy and brown and energizing. But can't there be some kind of coffee maker that cools the shit down a bit? No..that makes no sense. There is such thing as frozen coffee. So maybe it's not the coffee that is the problem. Hm..I change my mind. I like it when coffee is hot. Especially now in February. I guess it's the coffee containers that are the problem. If you get the coffee to go from a restaurant or something they package it in these dinky paper things with gaping holes in the lid. And even the plastic re-usable type coffee cups always leak and drip. One of my teachers had this awesome coffee thermos..it was red with a top that screwed on, so it couldn't spill. I should get one of those and shut up.

Weather
Why the fuck did people EVER settle where it's COLD!?!? It's like, "Hey, we're explorers and we're off killing Indians so we can make our white-people towns and WOW! This place is perfect! Not only is it ugly..it's freezing cold! Let's call it Chicago!"
I dunno..maybe they got here in the summer and didn't know any better. It might have been more like, "Look! It's warm and there's water! By golly, we've found the Indian Ocean!"

Law
So this morning my sweetie went to court. He got a ticket 'cuz he was driving around with a carful of underage drunks. Not such a good idea. But he wasn't drunk, though..and from what I gather, he's getting in more trouble than they did.
You know, in Europe where they let the kids drink earlier and have a working public transportation system, which drinking kids can take, they don't have these kinds of problems..

Home
My every earthly possession is now in a broken heap on the living room floor, since my dad is an oh so considerate person. I should just throw it all out.
But on the brighter side..I am pretty sure I am moving in with the Jessy and Josh (no, not that Josh..) who I met a few years ago when he came up to our table at IHOP and asked me, "Will you marry me?" When I tell people this story, everyone's like, "Ooohh! He sounds like a psycho! No, don't move in with him."
Oh get over it, people. I trust the Jessy. She wouldn't ask somebody bad to move in with us.

Classes
I have missed 3 of my 5 classes this week. Not a sparkling way to begin the semester. As for my Monday and Tuesday classes, I have an excuse. The dead guy on the Amtrak, remember? And as for my fiction class, I had to switch it, since Don DeGrazia, who was supposed to teach it, is still out and the teacher they got to replace him is the teacher I had last semester who gave me a B. And I don't want another B. B is for BAD! B is an UGLY letter! I know it was my fault for getting a B last semester because I was absent or late most weeks. But I have a feeling the teacher thinks I'm a fuck-up and even if I worked hard and was on time this semester, she'd still give me a B.

Gwacamoley
I don't even know how to spell it, but I am so badly addicted to it. I crave guakamolie 24 hours a day every day. Ohh! The mooshy green oily goodness! I must eat it for every meal! On a veggie taco or with some chips.. *drools* Ahh gwaquamoliey! Guackamholy!

posted at 11:48 AM |