NEW HAPPY HOUR POSTED!!! READ IT! YOU MUST!!!
happyhournovel.blogspot.com
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Alright..I was just a little pissy last night 'cuz I wasn't sure where the apartment keys were. Stuff will be fun there, I can tell, once we get some furnature, move all our stuff in, etc..
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Will I ever have a happy home?
Living with family just sucks and is limiting,
living with room mates is one big heap of stress
and living alone is absolutely morbid.
I want to like going home. To not have to face obnoxious old drunks or getting locked out or being lonely. I want to come home to peace, for once. I've never liked going home. Ever! Throughout my entire life. It gives me such an inner exhaustion to not have a comfortable place to rest.
I hope this will one day change. I know I should just be more patient, give the new place a try..
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Oh YEAH! Guess who is MOVING their ass outta this stupid living room! YEAHHHH!!!!!
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What I learned at the sex toy demonstration:-The clitoris is shaped like a wishbone and has twice as many nerve endings as the penis.-There's a dildo with two sides: one is bulb-shaped and goes in one girl, while the other is dick-shaped and goes into another. This is an alternative to a strap on.-Carrots can indeed get stuck up your butt, so don't put one there unless you cut a notch in it first.-Cock rings do not hurt men-The reason that so many vibrators are shaped as bunnies is that in Japan (at one point, or maybe still today) they were not allowed to make sex toys that resembled a fallus.
-Vibrators were invented way back in the Victorian days. Ladies would get diagnosed with "hysteria" and be sent to the doctor, who would uh..cure them. haha
-Silicon lube can be used in your hair (The hair on your head..you know..for greasers.. hehe)
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I think there's a direct coorelation between my hair length and mood. The shorter it is, the happier I am. Does anyone remember how depressed I always was when my hair was down to my ass?
I think my hair traps negative energy..
And now a rant on my creative process.
I totally envy those of you who vomit out masterworks in one quick burst of verbage, can write 20 excellent pages in one night.
It takes me about a week or two of mulling and "take-a-place"ing before I can even form the first sentence of a story. And then, I work at about 2 pages an hour. It's not that I'm distracted or lazy, it's just that I'm slow.
You know why I love this school, even though it's a seething hotbed of bullshit? There's a sex toy demonstration here with free food at 12:30. Yessss!
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Let me try to write this all without being too self-deprecating.. I cut all my hair off. I have been told that I not only look like a bull dyke, but like an old lady as well.
I read at a fiction open mic, this morning. I typically read either smutty or funny stuff at those things, so I'm used to getting lots of laughs and applause. But today I read a journal entry about the dead guy on the train. Everyone stared at me like I was a fish tank. Oh well..
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My post from the other day put through Gizoogle.com:
RappaWhy tha F-to-tha-izzuck did thugz EVER settle where it's COLD!?!? It's like, "Hey, we gangsta n we off cappin' Indians so we can makes our white-people towns n WOW . Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay! This place is perfect . Hollaz to the East Side! Not only is it ugly..it's freez'n cold . They call me tha black folks president! Let's call it Chicago!"
I dunno..maybe they gots hizzy in tha summa n didn't kizzle any motherfucka. It might have bizzle more like, "Look! It's warm n there's wata
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2 writing classes and a fiction reading, today..
It's like I just woke up and I'm a writer, again.
I am un-stuck on Happy Hour (thank you).
A new chapter will be posted soon, one with action..
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Hmm..my friend Claire has assured me that I will like Crime and Punishment.
Sir ghostsex.. care to comment.
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Last night:
Went to the Danzig concert. Spit in somebody's face. My ears are still ringing.
Rock!
Today:
God dammit! You washed my hair! Now it's flat! haha
Tonight:
Crime and Punishment..50 pages. Uhhhhgggg....
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Fri:
3 Long Islands
1 Lemon Drop
Sat:
2 Jello Shots
2 Hard Lemonades
1 Carbomb
1 Red Headed Slut
2 Kamakazes
1 Glass of beer
0 Pages written
I have a problem. My favorite kind of problem.
Last night was another dose of fun.
Well, despite my nearly breaking a bottle over the head of a shit-talking, white boy thug..
Oh well.
Anyway, I went from a party to a bar to IHOP (I finally realize the usefulness of 24-hour restaurants in hangover prevention..french toast and lots of water at 2am and you wake up sans the urge to puke).
I've been having a good time since I moved back to the suburbs. The people I know out here I've known for a long, long time and that's comforting. But there's a big potential for drama, in contrast to how in the city, everyone pretty much minds their own damn business.
I've found a way around it, though. When I come across someone who I have anymosities with, I smile and say hello. With no hate and no grudges. That way, if they're rude to me, they just look like an ass.
I'm also glad to be back out here because I get to see my best friend and boyfriend, the two sweetest and funnest people in the entire universe and slobber all over their faces on a regular basis. hehe
But the problem is I am a writer. And writing requires alone time, which I haven't had much of. When there's so many people around to talk to, it doesn't seem as appealing to talk to the page.
Maybe once I'm settled into the new apartment and get more assignments in my fiction classes, the creating will come easier.
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What the fucking fuck is with fucking people and their fucking drama!!?!
Roar!
If you like someone and they don't like you back, so sorry..get over it.
Don't send them a mean e-mail. And don't get me involved.
Grow up. The end.
*deep breath*
I'm good now.
Yes..I purchased one of them thar cell-you-larr tellyphones yesterday.
If ya wanna call me, well then ask me for my number.
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My best friend turned 21 and everyone got fucked up and had fun and..
wow, every night should be like that.
=)
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IT ALL SUCKS! BWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!I hate writing rants. They're like verbal diarreah.
But, lemme explain a few things:
CommutingIt takes me an hour and a half to get to school. I have to drive in start-and-stop rush hour traffic, and mind you I'm not only scatterbrained, but practically blind and in dire need of glasses, so this drive most typically involves a series of near-death experiences. You can tell my little blue car is coming down the road by the fanfare of horn honks that announce my swerving lane to lane.
And then the train. The Metra train. Those fuckers are always on time. I detest punctuality!!!! Because I am ritualistically 5 minutes late at all times. Those fucking Metra trains just don't wait if you're running and spilling your coffee and burning your hands and trying to get to those sliding, metal doors before the demonic electronic voice says, "Caution.
ROAR I'LL EAT YOUR SOUL!The doors are about to close."
CoffeeAnd who the fuck decided that it was a good idea to drink something boiling hot in the morning, anyway? You're rushing around, half-asleep and half-dumb with a hazardous liquid in your shaky hands! Now, we all know that I love coffee. It is yummy and brown and energizing. But can't there be some kind of coffee maker that cools the shit down a bit? No..that makes no sense. There is such thing as frozen coffee. So maybe it's not the coffee that is the problem. Hm..I change my mind. I like it when coffee is hot. Especially now in February. I guess it's the coffee containers that are the problem. If you get the coffee to go from a restaurant or something they package it in these dinky paper things with gaping holes in the lid. And even the plastic re-usable type coffee cups always leak and drip. One of my teachers had this awesome coffee thermos..it was red with a top that screwed on, so it couldn't spill. I should get one of those and shut up.
WeatherWhy the fuck did people EVER settle where it's COLD!?!? It's like, "Hey, we're explorers and we're off killing Indians so we can make our white-people towns and WOW! This place is perfect! Not only is it ugly..it's freezing cold! Let's call it Chicago!"
I dunno..maybe they got here in the summer and didn't know any better. It might have been more like, "Look! It's warm and there's water! By golly, we've found the Indian Ocean!"
LawSo this morning my sweetie went to court. He got a ticket 'cuz he was driving around with a carful of underage drunks. Not such a good idea. But he wasn't drunk, though..and from what I gather, he's getting in more trouble than they did.
You know, in Europe where they let the kids drink earlier and have a working public transportation system, which drinking kids can take, they don't have these kinds of problems..
HomeMy every earthly possession is now in a broken heap on the living room floor, since my dad is an oh so considerate person. I should just throw it all out.
But on the brighter side..I am pretty sure I am moving in with the Jessy and Josh (no, not
that Josh..) who I met a few years ago when he came up to our table at IHOP and asked me, "Will you marry me?" When I tell people this story, everyone's like, "Ooohh! He sounds like a psycho! No, don't move in with him."
Oh get over it, people. I trust the Jessy. She wouldn't ask somebody bad to move in with us.
ClassesI have missed 3 of my 5 classes this week. Not a sparkling way to begin the semester. As for my Monday and Tuesday classes, I have an excuse. The dead guy on the Amtrak, remember? And as for my fiction class, I had to switch it, since Don DeGrazia, who was supposed to teach it, is still out and the teacher they got to replace him is the teacher I had last semester who gave me a B. And I don't want another B. B is for BAD! B is an UGLY letter! I know it was my fault for getting a B last semester because I was absent or late most weeks. But I have a feeling the teacher thinks I'm a fuck-up and even if I worked hard and was on time this semester, she'd still give me a B.
Gwacamoley
I don't even know how to spell it, but I am so badly addicted to it. I crave guakamolie 24 hours a day every day. Ohh! The mooshy green oily goodness! I must eat it for every meal! On a veggie taco or with some chips.. *drools* Ahh gwaquamoliey! Guackamholy!
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Commence semester long nervous breakdown....NOW!
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I am cursed. I should never board a train again.
First the dead guy on the Amtrak, now this!
Yeah, today the Metra hit a car.
Nobody was hurt.
But they made us stand out in the cold for 45 minutes until the next train came. Grr!
http://abclocal.go.com/wls/news/021705_ns_train.htmlThree words: WHAT THE FUCK!!?
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Did what I should have done on Valentine's day. =)
Just got home. Very fun night! Saw so many people I hadn't seen in forever. I started to think that maybe I died and they were all just holograms flashing before my eyes on the way to the spirit world.
Also, it has occured to me that maybe when people are unkind it's because they are jealous. Seems obvious, right?
The meanest people tend to have crappy lives and want to bring down with them those of us who don't.
I've never seen someone so cool become such a callous and unforgiving asshole in so short a time. For your sake, I hope you get over it.
Oh and I might be jinxing things by saying this..but..I may have found a living arrangement preferable to my dad's couch. We'll see.
Well, off to work!
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From now on I will ignore those who fuck with my feelings.
And I won't be bitter.
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Okay. Done hating stuff!Back at school! Happy happy!Last night I was just a little cranky because I rode home on the train with a corpse.He OD'd on heroin in the bathroom..rotted there for 3 days before they found his body.The train stunk of sweet and sticky death, which is sort of like old shoes.
And prior to that, I got banned from the train bar by way of some Nazi bitch. She was drunk and rowdy and they thought I was with her. So they wouldn't serve me any more of those cute little travel-sized whisky bottles, dammit!
Err..the whole story is sort of hard to get out right now..I'm nauseated still.
But oh well. I'm at school! And this is where I should be right now.
In other news, my trip was fun.
And I apologize to anyone who spoke to me last night while I was hating everything.
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Dear everybody,
I'm home and I hate everything for the next 12 hours.
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Oh..one more thing before I go:
Dear people I hurt and confuse,
Life seems like such a contest, at times. Like things can't go well for everyone, so if someone is happy, it must mean they're eating up somebody else's good luck.
Which is why I'm such a jealous person. And why I get all self-righteous when I'm in pain.
But I really just want everyone I know and everyone I don't know to be happy or at least contented at all times. And this is most certainly not possible in the least..
Which is why I'm so discouraged.
Why am I mean? Well, once I figure that out, I'll stop it immediately.
Alright, I'm gone now for a week.
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I am a valuable person and set limits to protect myself. I am a valuable person and set limits to protect myself. I am a valuable person and set limits to protect myself. I am a valuable person and set limits to protect myself. I am a valuable person and set limits to protect myself. I am a valuable person and set limits to protect myself. I am a valuable person and set limits to protect myself. I am a valuable person and set limits to protect myself. I am a valuable person and set limits to protect myself. I am a valuable person and set limits to protect myself. I am a valuable person and set limits to protect myself. I am a valuable person and set limits to protect myself.
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I will be gone until the 15th.
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My story is back up!
Okay, if it's not here:
thisisgrand.org
Check here:
http://thisisgrand.org/allisons0205.htm
They are switching servers, or something..
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why!?!?!
a site puts my story up..and it disappears.
was it really
that bad??
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Idea "Borrowed" from Susie:
1. Choose 10 people.
(I cheated and chose 11)
2. Write something about/to each of them.
3. Don't tell anyone who the statements are about. Good or bad. No matter how they beg!
1. Master of tragicomedy, oh genius with shakey fingers. Sometimes I'd like to kill you and try to get your work published posthumously so your self-doubt cannot stop you. *psychotic leer*
2. I want to thank you for my first publishing credit, my first threesome and my job. Being with you was like shooting heroin each night, though. So painfully thrilling, but too intense for persons trying to hold 2 jobs and 4 classes. I always thought you'd make a much more stimulating adversary. Just one question..why did you leave me down in the cold? Oh well. Good luck on the novel.
3. It seems that I spent our whole past showing you my worst. I would like you to sing the soundtrack to our best, in that deep and resonant voice of yours that makes my insides cream and tingle. =) If I take a train, will you be my valentine?
4. So I'm your mentor, huh? I'm fucking honored! lol! You must have learned a bunch from me that half an hour in the parking lot. (That sounded bad! hehe) We should do it again, some day.
5. Ohhh such a beautiful curse! Why must you be so hot and fun and also my best friend? You have been there with me through everything. *sniffle* I love you! =*)
6. You treated me better than any guy ever had. I felt so comfortable and loved. We had fun. We're just at different points in our lives. When I see you around, I hope you'll say hi.
7. You. Too rare for words. The rarest words. Gentle and ghastly and downright confusing in a way that does not cease to fascinate me. One day, I'll go north.
8. You + Me + Mashed potatoes. Bats across the beach. Please clear those maggots from your pants and stay away from shrinks.
9. Your ceaseless hope has always driven me nuts. With admiration, that is. If there's anyone who deserves a peaceful home and happy marriage, it is you.
10. My love, my golden beauty, my ex-upstairs neighbor..we will have such fun this semester!! I am so glad I know you. You're absolutely magical. Your talents amaze me to no end!
11. We can't be friends. But I wish you the best.
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So..it's just me again.
Single and aimless with a stuffy nose.
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Im trying reeeeeeeal y hard to like beer. cuz ti everywhere you kniow? so I dark some. and it was gross but it woreks,!
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